As a swimmer, I’m in awe. Can’t imagine how long she must have trained to do this. One must be very strong and agile, beause the resistance of water is multiple times that of air (12x).
I want to tell y’all a story about supporting and loving your partner, starring my amazing wife.
I’ve mentioned before that I had an eating disorder for many years, and though I consider myself “recovered” there are aspects of my disorder that I still struggle with today — being quite a bit heavier than my wife is one of them.
When my wife and I moved in together back when we were still girlfriends, I was at my skinniest. She used to pick me up all the time and lift me off the ground, and I’d laugh and kick out my legs ‘cause I was just delighted to have her holding me.
But I started gaining weight as I went through recovery, and where once we were pretty close in size, I began to get bigger. And bigger. And bigger. And she remained her naturally petite self. I began to almost dread when she’d try to pick me up, sure that this time she wouldn’t be able to get me off the ground.
But every time, even if I protested, she’d lift me up and say something like: “See, you’re not so big that I can’t lift you!”
And one time I just blurted out: “But someday I’m going to be so fat you won’t be able to.”
She looked me dead in the eye and said: “No you won’t. Because if that ever happens, I’ll start working out.”
It was the best possible thing she could have said to me, because she wasn’t saying I wasn’t going to get fat
—
neither of us knew that for sure. She was just saying that I was never going to be “too fat” for her.
And every time I worry about getting bigger, I remember that I’ll never be so big that she can’t lift me, because baby knows how much I love being held, and she’ll change her own habits to ensure that I never feel “too big” or “too heavy” because in her eyes I’ll never be “too” anything.
Anyway, there’s a moral to this story: Find yourself a partner who will never consider you an excess. You should never be “too much” to someone who loves you — too big, too loud, too passionate, too awkward, whatever your “too” happens to be. And even as you change and grow (in my case, literally), the right person will be there through the changes, to tell you that you’re always just right for them.
My strongwoman, the wind beneath my wings, the arms under my ass. 😍😍 😍
Reblog if you are a greedy gay hoarding refracted light all for your greedy gay self
I totally am, but also: I have a story. The time: 1995. The place: a small liberal arts college. We decided to participate in “denim day” which was a widespread event wherein on National Coming Out Day, you would wear denim to indicate SUPPORT FOR the LGBT community. Our support group made posters that were very, very clear about this. Wearing denim did not mean that you were coming out, it meant you supported anyone around you who might.
I have never seen so many suits and khakis IN MY LIFE. People who accidentally wore jeans went home and changed.
The community took it as a rebuke. We drew in closer to eachother, and felt unwelcome everywhere we thought we had friends before.
And I had people later tell me “You know I support you, just… I didn’t want anyone to think I was.” First off, I DON’T know you support me. Not if you refuse to, for one day, change nothing about your life to show it. Second off… why is that such a terrifying thought to you?
I remember before rainbows were a “gay thing”. They were everywhere. Church walls next to arks. School walls next to sunshine faces. People have VOLUNTARILY abandoned every other use. I have HEARD PEOPLE SAY they just couldn’t use rainbows anymore because people would think of “gay stuff.”
So I know this is a joke, and a stolen one at that, but you’ve done this to yourselves. If someone is so terrified of being perceived as queer that they will INSTANTLY abandon something they like if it has queer germs on it now or something, then they don’t deserve refracted light.
Maybe help us change the world into a place where being mistaken for queer would be just a thing to chuckle about and you can have refracted light back.
The LGBTQ+ community didn’t steal the rainbow. The straights abandoned it.
I truly, without sarcasm or irony, don’t understand how people my age do the Own Family thing.
How do you possibly manage taking of yourself and other living humans, some of whom are tiny and stupid (I mean that kindly–they can’t Know anything, they haven’t been alive and on the damn planet long enough) and need you for SO MUCH.
Grown ups tell me about going from work to their kids’ soccer games to the other kid’s recital to the PTA-or-Church-Event to home to make dinner and clean the bathrooms and I’m just like “the fuck. How??”
And I realize that part of it is absolutely none of these people are getting 10-11 hours of sleep (like I do), or even 6-8. They aren’t eating regular meals (because who has the time?). They are literally totally neglecting themselves and their own needs and wants on a consistent, regular basis for the sake of other people who live under their roof and in their lives and I just…am baffled and full of confused, horrified admiration.
Like, holy shit.
Not to mention how out of your hands basically everything is. Want tacos for dinner? Fuck off, the kids want chicken nuggets, and that takes precedence. Want to read your book before bed? Nah, man, your spouse wants some Netflix and Chill time and you NEVER get time together so like ofc you’re going to put that book aside.
So much of that particular brand of adulthood makes vacations make sense to me as a concept, though. Like of course you people need a “beach read.” You haven’t had the alone time necessary to read a book in five years.
Anyway. You’re all really tough and awesome and I’m impressed but also noooooo, noooo, thanks. Thank you. But no.
the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance
to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance
Thoughtfulfangirling 