Truth About Birth Control Pills
Tag: always reblog
one thing I don’t think people realize is that in arguments about human rights, it’s not about trying to persuade the other party. it’s not about them at all. they’ve already made up their mind.
it’s about persuading the audience.
if I call out my teacher on being homophobic I’m not trying to change his opinion. I’m trying to convince any closeted kids in the room that they’re not the monsters he’s made them out to be.
if I argue with my aunt about how racist she’s being it’s not because I expect to change her mind. it’s because I’m hoping to god my cousin’s kids hear and learn that maybe skin color doesn’t mean what she says it means.
people will try to hush you and say “they’re not going to change their minds, don’t bother” but it’s not about them. it was never about them.
Previously, I’d only seen the first two panels and assumed it was the complete comic.
This version is much better.
I love this comic, it’s such a brilliantly clear visual explanation you really don’t even need the captions.
I survived an abusive relationship. At this point I have talked to and worked with hundreds of people in abusive relationships.
Guess what? telling us to leave never works.
ever.
I could write a post about ways to help people leave.
I’ll probably do that one day.
but don’t be that person in the mean time.
This is real quick off the cuff but:
AN ABBREVIATED GUIDE TO ‘holy shit my friend is in an abusive relationshit what do I do’
1. Don’t start shit with the abuser. Your friend? Will pay for it.
I once had a friend slap my abuser.
I am not going to tell you the price I paid b/c I’ve already puked once today and I would like to not do it again.
I once threatened a friend’s abuser.
I almost lost that friend over it.
Don’t do the thing.
2. Understand that the abuser is going to be isolating them.
They may be telling your friend how terrible you are. Any slight- no matter how small will be played up into a big thing. and even if the friend doesn’t hold it against you- it will probably effect how much they reach out to you.
Abusers like to tell their marks things like ‘Oh? A missed your call. Its because they hate you and think you complain too much’
The best way I can tell you to combat that- is just… don’t hold it against them. If they withdraw, don’t be that person like ‘well if you really cared about me you’d have fought for me’
The people who helped the most were those that I felt like.. I could go weeks without talking to and then they’d still listen if I got the courage to come back around.
If you can- work with them to try and schedule things so that they can have support without their abuser getting suspicious. School projects, open places. shit like that.
3. Don’t argue with them that shit is abusive.
Don’t be that person. It will make them feel unsafe with you.
The friends who argued were friends I lost. They were the ones it was easiest for him to make go. Cause here’s the thing… people view isolating as an abuser saying ‘you can’t talk to them!’ and a lot of times its not that.. its an abuser sitting down and saying in a real quiet voice ‘you two argue a lot, and they aren’t respecting you. But I’ll always be here for you okay?’
The most you can do is say “hey.. you know you deserve better than that right?” and if they argue go “I’m not going to argue with you. I don’t want to upset you.
4. If they ask for resources, help them get them.
Don’t offer them unless asked or it will turn into a fight and see above.
5. If they say they’re out of options- help them brain storm ones.
here’s an easy opening to ask if it’s okay to help them find resources.
don’t shove.
6. Be nice to them. consistently.
Too many people were too busy trying to convince me that he was a bad guy- that spending time with them just hurt…
and at least when I was with him it only hurt some of the time.
I got out because I had 4-5 good friends who I had good times with and I finally…. there was the light of ‘oh god this is what healthy relationships feel like. ‘
7. Don’t shove. Don’t pressure.
You can say “I’ll be here for you when you’re ready to leave”
You can remind them of this occasionally.
But don’t be a coercive dick.
Don’t be gross.
Don’t hurt people being abused.
That should not be that hard of a lesson.
Don’t say victim blaming shit to convince them to leave.,
Don’t threaten to leave them if they don’t leave.
Don’t be gross.
everyone forgot that mlk jr. said he hated white moderates
he said white moderates were a greater stumbling block to freedom than the kkk. mlk jr said that.
yo can someone please tell me if this is accurate? Because that’s fucked up
yes and he was right
read the thing for yourself https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf
Most relevant paragraph
“I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great
stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizens Councillor or the Ku Klux Klanner but the white moderate
who is more devoted to order than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace
which is the presence of justice; who constantly says, “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can’t agree with your methods
of direct action”; who paternalistically feels that he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by the myth of
time; and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of
good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more
bewildering than outright rejection.”He wasn’t wrong. It is, sadly, still true today.
“…who is more devoted to order than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice.” We talk about this in seminary all the time: peace that is won by one side holding its foot on the other side’s throat is not peace. When we pray for peace, we must pray for peace with justice, never at the cost of justice, made by silencing the oppressed.
Fellow white people, don’t just reblog or share mlk jr.’s more palatable “hate cannot drive out hate” type quotes and ignore the fact that he also said challenging things like this. We must hold ourselves accountable. We must not be lukewarm. And there is never a “more convenient season” to act to secure rights for all people – the time is now.
Apart from being based on naïve and simplistic ideas about how language works, the other big problem with the ‘women, stop undermining yourselves’ approach is that it presupposes a deficit model of women’s language-use. If women use the word ‘sorry’ more than men (and by the way, that’s a genuine ‘if’: I’m not aware of any compelling evidence they do), that can only mean that women are over-using ‘sorry’, apologizing when it isn’t necessary or appropriate. The alternative interpretation—that men are under-using ‘sorry’ because they don’t always apologise when the circumstances demand it —is surely no less logical or plausible, but somehow it never comes up. As I said back in the summer, the assumption is always that ‘a woman’s place is in the wrong’.
Crap apps and female email | language: a feminist guide
(via
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I think this is a really important point. Women are consistently disadvantaged in relation to men by the kinds of characteristics which constitute traditional models of femininity. But this doesn’t undermine the fact that many of these ‘feminine’ characteristics – care, humility, altruism, and co-operation over competition – are actually also virtuous, and I think that a decent feminist critique of gender relations needs to appreciate this.
Women are disadvantaged because in many cases guys are taught to be shitty people who exploit the virtue of others as a weakness.
(via catholic-adjacent)
This is the same man.
This works quite nicely at debunking the “beefcake guys in comics are objectified for women just like women in comics are for men!” imo. On the left: a magazine tailored for a male audience, showing him in full beefcake-type mode with headlines about how you, too, can look like this. On the right: a magazine tailored for a female audience, which has a headline about romance and shows him looking more or less like a normal dude.
Tell me again how comic book guys are designed for female sexual enjoyment, completely equivalent to anatomically-improbable spines and giant tits with their own individual centers of gravity, and totes aren’t just male power fantasies.
COMMENTARY
Women don’t treat men the way men treat women.
it’s also worth noting that despite all the geeks complaining about women’s impossible standards, the fantasy on the right sets a really really easy low bar to meet:
“cool clean friendly non-aggressive man who will cook a food for u”
yep what an unfair standard to be subjected to
that last comment was beautiful
Pretty sure I’ve RBd this before, but doing it again for the penultimate comment.
@fullten here’s that post you were talking about
Yes! This one 💖
Fun commentary!
the stereotype that women talk more than men is infinitely amusing to me because men are literally incapable of shutting the fuck up
i hope this post gets popular enough that i hurt a man’s feelings
It’s not a stereotype it’s a proven fact you femanazi piece of shit.
lmao there it is
You wanna talk proven facts? This shit’s been done, son: researcher Dale Spencer in Australia used audio and video tape to independently evaluate who talked the most in mixed-gender university classroom discussions. Regardless of the gender ratio of the students, whether the instructor was deliberately trying to encourage female participation or not, men always talked more—whether the metric was minutes of talking or number of words spoken.
Moreover, men literally have no clue how much they talk. When Spencer asked students to evaluate their perception of who talked more in a given discussion, women were pretty accurate; but men perceived the discussion as being “equal” when women talked only 15% of the time, and the discussion as being dominated by women if they talked only 30% of the time.
Spencer’s conclusion, if I may parahprase: you only think we talk too much because you’d rather we were silent.
Don’t fuck with me, asshole, I’m a scientist.
Always reblog
It really, REALLY bothers me when I hear people frame climate change and other environmental crises as something that everyday, average-ass people are responsible for, and not corporations and entire governments.
Like literally, how can a regular-ass person ~opt out~ of all damaging behaviors while still being able to function in society?
You literally can’t.
The future of our planet is not down to whether or not someone recycles their water bottle.
It’s down to whether or not governments and corporations decide to quit sucking up all our resources and poisoning the earth with reckless abandon.
I mean obviously people should still live as cleanly and as sustainably as they can manage where they are and with what they have, but like. THAT isn’t the major issue.
govts and corporations have deliberately put the onus on yr individual choices so the system can continue being as destructive/profitable
God bless this post this pisses me off so much
Also this hyper-individualist shift of responsibility is largely an American thing and consumerism is framed as a solution- e.g., buy more shit that’s sustainable! That’ll fix the problem (buy a new, green water bottle! buy a new, green car! buy a new, green whatever-the-fuck that’ll just ultimately produce more waste)!
I took a course in sustainable engineering.
The professor mentioned that even if every private individual in the world were to conserve resources and the environment the ol’ Jimmy Carter way- by turning down the thermostat, recycling your glass and plastics and metals, cut down on luxuries, take shorter showers, etc., it would only get us 10% of the way to where we need to be in order to avoid global catastrophic climate change.
The vast majority of freshwater use is from industry and agriculture. http://www.worldometers.info/water/
The vast majority of CO2 emissions is from industrial and electrical generation sites and associated vehicles. http://www3.epa.gov/climatechange/ghgemissions/gases/co2.html
Private individuals hardly make a dent, even in ideal conditions.
It really, REALLY bothers me when I hear people frame climate change and other environmental crises as something that everyday, average-ass people are responsible for, and not corporations and entire governments.
Like literally, how can a regular-ass person ~opt out~ of all damaging behaviors while still being able to function in society?
You literally can’t.
The future of our planet is not down to whether or not someone recycles their water bottle.
It’s down to whether or not governments and corporations decide to quit sucking up all our resources and poisoning the earth with reckless abandon.
I mean obviously people should still live as cleanly and as sustainably as they can manage where they are and with what they have, but like. THAT isn’t the major issue.
govts and corporations have deliberately put the onus on yr individual choices so the system can continue being as destructive/profitable
God bless this post this pisses me off so much
Also this hyper-individualist shift of responsibility is largely an American thing and consumerism is framed as a solution- e.g., buy more shit that’s sustainable! That’ll fix the problem (buy a new, green water bottle! buy a new, green car! buy a new, green whatever-the-fuck that’ll just ultimately produce more waste)!
I took a course in sustainable engineering.
The professor mentioned that even if every private individual in the world were to conserve resources and the environment the ol’ Jimmy Carter way- by turning down the thermostat, recycling your glass and plastics and metals, cut down on luxuries, take shorter showers, etc., it would only get us 10% of the way to where we need to be in order to avoid global catastrophic climate change.
The vast majority of freshwater use is from industry and agriculture. http://www.worldometers.info/water/
The vast majority of CO2 emissions is from industrial and electrical generation sites and associated vehicles. http://www3.epa.gov/climatechange/ghgemissions/gases/co2.html
Private individuals hardly make a dent, even in ideal conditions.
Thoughtfulfangirling 