in my experience, children whos parents kept them on extremely tight leashes for fear of them experiencing bad things or coming face to face with personal tragedy or to prevent them from making mistakes often end up fucking up the most as adults, which thereby allows the parent to come back in with the “i told you so” clause when the kid is like “hey actually i think i want to NOT live under your thumb for a while” and they do and something catastrophic happens like money mismanagement or eviction etc
and it becomes something of a self fulfilling prophecy but like its almost entirely the fault of the parent for not 1. properly equipping their child to cope mentally/emotionally when shit goes fuckways and 2. saying “i told you so” rather than “ok something bad happened, let’s figure out how to unfuck it together”
having a parent who was both sort of a helicopter and emotionally distant fucked me up in new and exciting ways but i am like, slowly figuring out how to not be a complete mess as i inch into my 30s and i think its probably important that folks younger than me know that if you had a parent like i did, someone who would berate you for your mistakes and give you “i told you so’s” instead of being like, u know, supportive and helpful, ur fuckups do not mean that you’re like, inherently dumb/stupid/incapable of living independently, it just means that somewhere along the way you got bad advice or no advice and you’re doing your best to sort through life any way you know how.
its ok to ask for help, believe it or not, the majority of adults and the majority of your peers dont actually want to shit on you further while your life is falling to pieces. its ok to ask for reassurance or advice and its okay to advocate for yourself and tell people that their unhelpful commentary is not what you need.
life’s weird and its getting weirder but like hey, we have each other at least, so thats something
Thoughtfulfangirling 