Category: Uncategorized

The internet is real

realsocialskills:

The internet is real. The internet exists in the world and it affects the rest of the world.

I’m a person all of the time. I don’t stop being a person when I log on, and neither do you. It matters how we treat each other, and it matters what kind of culture we build through online interactions.

Further, no one can opt out of being affected by the internet. The interactions that take place online impact the whole culture, not just those who are directly participating online. For instance, whether or not someone ever uses a smart phone or takes a selfie, if they spend any time in cities, they’re going to encounter others doing so — and if they go to events, they’re likely going to encounter backdrops made for that express purpose. There’s no way to opt out of being affected by the existence of selfies and selfie culture.

There’s also no way to opt out of the way the internet can be used to attack people. For instance, for over a decade, ratemyprofessors.com had a hotness rating, and female professors couldn’t opt out of being affected by the way that encouraged sexual harassment. Similarly, Monica Lewinsky and others who have faced internet-aided attacks could not have made them go away by logging out.

Online interaction is even being used as a form of warfare. Most notoriously, Russian intelligence agencies successfully used Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr to interfere with the United States presidential election in 2016. Even if I logged off today and never touched a computer again, I could not opt out of being affected by the fact that Donald Trump became President of the United States in early 2017.

At the same time, marginalized people are also using the internet to build forms of power and solidarity that we didn’t have before. Before I found disability selfie culture online, the only images of people like me I’d ever seen were all illustrating tragic stories about our parents. Connecting with other disabled people online made it possible for me to realize that I could be fully human without being cured — and that I could be taken seriously without becoming normal.

Similarly, not everyone uses Twitter or hashtags, but everyone lives in a culture in which #BlackLivesMatter, #YesAllWomen, and #MeToo are uningnorable. Privileged people have lost some of their power to silence and isolate people — and marginalized people have gained a lot of power to find and support each other.

The internet is real, and the things we do online matter. We can make better choices when we remember that what we’re doing is real.

Unhappy marriage not grounds for divorce, supreme court rules

fandom-geek:

A woman who wants to divorce her husband of 40 years because she says their marriage is unhappy has lost her case in the supreme court.

Five justices upheld rulings by a family court and the court of appeal that Tini Owens must stay married to Hugh Owens.

Tini, who is in her late 60s, wants a divorce. She says her marriage to Hugh, who is in his 80s, is loveless and has broken down.

She says he has behaved unreasonably and that she should be allowed to end her marriage. Hugh, however, refuses to agree to a divorce and denies her allegations about his behaviour. He says that if their marriage has irretrievably broken down it is because she had an affair, or because she is “bored”.

so i know that tumblr is super focused on the usa and women’s rights over there, but this is really fucking important case in uk law

unlike the us, the uk doesn’t have no fault divorce. you have to have been married for at least one year before filing for divorce, and then you have to pick one of five grounds under which divorce is permitted

  • adultery – 14% of divorces, but only counts if you didn’t continue as a couple for six months afterwards, unless the affair is still ongoing or there’s more acts afterwards. fun fact, however – if you are in a civil partnership instead of a divorce, you can’t use this ground at all! really fucking shitty, am i right?
  • desertion – if your spouse left you for more than 2 years in the last 2 and a half, then this ground is usable. only 1% of divorces are under this ground, however
  • 2 years separation – 27% of divorces, as it requires mutual agreement between the couple
  • 5 years separation – 13% of divorces, this is what the court has told ms owens she has to use, and she can only file under this ground in 2020. this is used in cases when your partner objects to the divorce, shittily enough
  • unreasonable behaviour – 45% of divorces, and this is what ms owens used when she filed. to quote the government’s page on divorce, your spouse must have “behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with them”, with examples of abuse, violence, and drugs/alcoholism

(note – scotland has slightly different divorce law, as it changes the 2 years separation to 1, and the 5 years separation to 2. no much better, but a little)

and long story short… three different courts (the family court, the appeals court, and now the supreme court) have all declared the examples ms owens used to be insufficient

now, the president of the supreme court, lady hale, said she found this “very troubling”, and another judge said he was very reluctant to give this judgement, and my thoughts on that are….. eh 

unlike the usa, judicial activism is generally a no-no, and so both the appeals court and the supreme court have said parliament would need to amend the 1973 matrimonal causes act, which laid out the grounds for modern divorces

which really needs to happen as the last time divorce law was updated was in 2004, when the government mandated that if a transgender person was to legally transition, they needed to divorce their partner before they were allowed to. which is its’ own entire bullshit, tbh, and has been repeatedly brought up as an example of how shitty the uk is wrt transgender rights

so yeah…. i’m pretty sure a campaign is going to start because of this case and the supreme court’s ruling, and i’d really appreciate it if non-uk people would raise awareness of this gigantic goddamn issue in our country

People are wild! How can you watch a woman go through all this, the husband entirely aware, and think his actions reasonable when he still wants to be married. Do they think he’s going to treat her well after all this? How can they reconcile the idea that he cares at all about her wishes?? The very fact he wants to stay with a woman who is accusing (from the judge’s perspective; I’m sure it’s true) him publicly of bad marital behavior. A goof person, when faced with a partner who goes through this trouble to break ties, won’t want to stay with that person anymore. It’s so controlling and selfish of him and doesn’t speak well at all of a good marriage. Wow. This is bad

Unhappy marriage not grounds for divorce, supreme court rules

Here’s My Personal Holiday Hot Chocolate Recipe

lierdumoa:

I have my own hot chocolate recipe that’s great for cold weather, especially now that I’m living in a place that snows.

Bring ~ 10 oz water to a near-boil, then pour it in a mug (I usually make this in an 12 oz coffee mug) and add:

  • 2 squares of Lindt 90% or 99% Cocoa EXCELLENCE Bar* (depends how rich you want it)
  • 1 to 2 tbsp half & half (use heavy cream if you really want to indulge)
  • ½ to 1 tbsp honey
  • pinch of cinnamon & nutmeg (optional)
  • 1 to 2 tbsp bourbon (optional)

Stir until chocolate squares are completely melted. 

You can also use hot coffee instead of hot water for a mocha.

*This particular bar has a high cocoa butter content compared to other dark chocolate bars I’ve tried, so it melts really easily in hot water. I tried doing it with baking chocolate, and with the Ghirardelli 86% dark, and the Lindt bar gave me the best results. You should be able to find it in most convenience stores in the US.