PSA: “Healthier” does not mean low calorie, low fat, low sugar, low carb. Healthier does not mean less. Healthy is relative to each person’s needs.
Also, guilt-free is not a description for food. Guilt is not an ingredient; it is a feeling. No matter how many ingredients or calories you remove from that food, the guilt is in your mind, not the food.
I won’t stop reblogging this.
I have to remind myself of this continually. That other people’s definitions of “healthier” are often the polar opposite to what “healthier” needs to mean for me.
This is how I feel when I hear a woman say “I’m being good” as an explanation of her food choices.
“Oh yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone.”
WHAT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery. Seriously. I cringe every single time someone tells me about their “plan” to remind a loved one that their loved one is dead.
I also hear this a lot: “I keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and sometimes she recalls it once I’ve said it.” That’s still not a good thing. Why are we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away?
If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgotten that a loved one is dead, don’t remind them. What’s the point of reintroducing that kind of pain? Here’s the thing: they will forget again, and they will ask again. You’re never, ever, ever, going to “convince” them of something permanently.
Instead, do this:
“Dad, where do you think mom is?”
When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it sounds correct. For example, if he says, “I think mom is at work,” say, “Yes, that sounds right, I think she must be at work.” If he says, “I think she passed away,” say, “Yes, she passed away.”
People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook to “come up with something” that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later, when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you.
I support this sentiment. Repeatedly reminding someone with faulty memory that a loved one has died isn’t a kindness, it’s a cruelty. They have to relieve the loss every time, even if they don’t remember the grief 15 minutes later.
In other words, don’t try to impose your timeline on them in order to make yourself feel better. Correcting an afflicted dementia patient will not cure them. They won’t magically return to your ‘real world’. No matter how much you might want them to.
It’s a kindness of old age, forgetting. Life can be very painful. Don’t be the one ripping off the bandage every single time.
I can’t believe we have to explain to people that they shouldn’t introduce traumatizing revelations to people who are neurologically incapable of processing and healing from the trauma.
By the way, the people who want to split off Northern California (into the ‘State of Jefferson’) are sponsored by Breitbart. They’re fucking white supremacists. I live in and love Northern California and I hope you’ll join me in refusing to give it to those motherfuckers.
The state supreme court took this off the ballot. This will not be on the ballot this November.
By the way, the people who want to split off Northern California (into the ‘State of Jefferson’) are sponsored by Breitbart. They’re fucking white supremacists. I live in and love Northern California and I hope you’ll join me in refusing to give it to those motherfuckers.
For the second time in two years,
America’s prisoners have staged a mass, coordinated strike, demanding
an end to slave labor for incarcerated people, channels for redress of
grievances, an end to racial discrimination in the American penal
system, access to rehabilitation programs, the reinstatement of Pell
grants, the right of ex-prisoners to vote, and the right of
rehabilitated prisoners to be paroled.
The strike started on August 21 and will run to September 8. Prisoners
are participating through “work stoppages, spending boycotts, sit-ins,
and hunger strikes” and face brutal retaliation for their participation,
including torture in the form of extended solitary confinement.
America is the world’s most prolific and indiscriminate jailer,
imprisoning more people – and a greater proportion of its population –
than any other country in the history of the world. More black men are
imprisoned in America today than were ever imprisoned in Apartheid-era
South Africa.
Apocalypse Now: Deadly Fire Tornado Rages Across California
On July 26, the Carr Fire near Redding, California unleashed a vortex with winds so strong it uprooted trees and stripped away their bark.
Winds roared at 165 miles per hour, fast enough to be a strong EF3 tornado. Temperatures reached 2,700 degrees, as hot as a small star. It stood 7.5 miles tall, making it the largest documented fire whirl / devil / tornado in recorded history.
The fire also created huge pyrocumulus clouds (clouds of fire) that lasted days:
Ok so this is my new favourite ensemble ever. I’ve gotten so many compliments today and it’s breezy and comfortable despite how damn hot it is out! I can’t resist a fruit print. Florals? Meh. Fruit I just love, I think I lowkey want to be Carmen Miranda. The crop and skirt are from Forever 21, and come in straight and plus sizes, which always makes me happy cause usually plus lines are boring as hell.
You can also follow me at instagram.com/tropigothic
Here’s something that happens to ADHD children a lot: Getting pushed beyond their limits by accident. Here’s how it works and why it’s so bad.
Child says, “I can’t do this.”
Adult (teacher or parent) does not believe it, because Adult has seen Child do things that Adult considers more difficult, and Child is too young to properly articulate why the task is difficult.
Adult decides that the problem is something other than true inability, like laziness, lack of self-confidence, stubbornness, or lack of motivation.
Adult applies motivation in the form of harsher and harsher scoldings and punishments. Child becomes horribly distressed by these punishments. Finally, the negative emotions produce a wave of adrenaline that temporarily repairs the neurotransmitter deficits caused by ADHD, and Child manages to do the task, nearly dropping from relief when it’s finally done.
The lesson Adult takes away is that Child was able to do it all along, the task was quite reasonable, and Child just wasn’t trying hard enough. Now, surely Child has mastered the task and learned the value of simply following instructions the first time.
The lessons Child takes away? Well, it varies, but it might be:
-How to do the task while in a state of extreme panic, which does NOT easily translate into doing the task when calm.
-Using emergency fight-or-flight overdrive to deal with normal daily problems is reasonable and even expected.
-It’s not acceptable to refuse tasks, no matter how difficult or potentially harmful.
-Asking for help does not result in getting useful help.
I’m now in my 30’s, trying to overcome chronic depression, and one major barrier is that, thanks to the constant unreasonable demands placed on me as a child, I never had the chance to develop actual healthy techniques for getting stuff done. At 19, I finally learned to write without panic, but I still need to rely on my adrenaline addiction for simple things like making phone calls, tidying the house, and paying bills. Sometimes, I do mean things to myself to generate the adrenaline rush, because there’s no one else around to punish me.
But hey, at least I didn’t get those terrible drugs, right? That might have had nasty side effects.
Thoughtfulfangirling 