Category: Uncategorized

penicillium-pusher:

penicillium-pusher:

Naomi loves laying in boxes, but she was sad because this one was too tall for her to lay down AND see us at the same time

So we got creative, and I think she likes the solution

Good news everyone!!

Princess baby got an upgrade!!!

She says thank you for all the love 💕

babblingqueerace:

courteousmingler:

i hate when people talk about LGBT resources as if we have a super finite amount?

like people almost never describe what they actually mean when they say “resources”.

because really, there’d only be two kinds of resources: 

 1. resources aces won’t need

 2. resources they WILL need

 "there’s only so much room at housing facilities for troubled LGBT kids!“ 

 yeah well if aces being kicked out of their homes for their asexuality isn’t a thing that happens in real life, they won’t be taking those resources. 

and if aces being kicked out of their homes for their asexuality IS a thing that happens in real life, then they have every RIGHT to those resources.

 like it’s so weird.

they talk about it like they’re discussing food and water rations on a sinking ship. 

but we’re really talking about like…suicide hotlines, and things like that.

things catered to people who’re going through the unique experience of being persecuted by the straight oppressor class because it wants to “fix” them

cuz sure aces have suicide hotlines they can call.

 but do they have one to call when they want to die because of anti-ace violence? 

sure ace survivors can get their hands on recovery resources to help with recovering from their sexual assault 

 but are those resources catered to someone who went through a CORRECTIVE assault, intended to turn them straight?

there’s some resources they need that only we have.

 and they’re nowhere near as finite as we talk about them being.

 the only benefit keeping resources from aces would have is…making them suffer more. 

I’ve also seen plenty of people point out that in a ‘real world’/’on the ground’ sense more people using the resources/services provided by charities and non profits and the like is better. For everyone. Because their funding/grants/etc. is directly tied to how many people they’re helping. Helping more people means more funding.

cheesecake-colored:

marsza:

marsza:

I was doing my makeup today while my brother was fixing his hair. It was quiet and we were both busy doing ourselves up, but after I put on mascara I noticed that Nico was staring at me. “Did you know that some guys wear mascara?” he said and I was like pfft, yeah, of course, dude. I know guys who put on way more than I do. Nico just nodded and continued with his hair. A few minutes later, he brought it up again. “I know a guy who played in my baseball team that would put on mascara. It was … cool, I guess.” And after a moment of awkward silence, I turned to him and went: “Nico, do you wanna try some on?”

Yep. He did. He told me so after a little bit of asking, but he felt intimidated to try it on himself. So, I grabbed a really natural looking mascara and lightly put on one coat for him. It wasn’t all cute and serene, btw, it was very us (”fuck, don’t poke my eye out, bro” “nico, are you fuckin serious, i’m not gonna” “aaah, fuck, you’re gonna poke me!” “stop moving!”). But afterward he looked at himself in the mirror and was hesitant. He said he didn’t know if he liked it. And i just shrugged because…I guess, I didn’t want him to think anything wild about it. He could wear mascara or not, but I didn’t want him to be insecure about it all the same. “Well, that’s fine,” I said. “It’s no big. You just wipe it off and it’s gone. You want me to pass you a wipe?”

But he kept staring at himself in the mirror and he was like: No, actually…I like it. It makes my eyes pop. Then Nico turned around and waggled his eyebrows at me and went: bitches love my eyes. they won’t stand a chance now.

Today, Nico came into my room while I was doing my nails and he asked me what’s good with my mascara and I was like ???. Anyways, that was his form of asking for mascara again, checking himself out in the mirror for a minute and a half, and finally declaring: “I fucks with how this makes my eyes look”

Pure

thistherapylife:

star-anise:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

idyll-ism:

sorryiwasasleepagain:

blkbruja:

y’all need therapy. not girlfriends

Or they need a girlfriend that doesn’t mind listening and trying to help them work through their shit and defeat their fucking demons without asking them to pour out their soul to a stranger who is only listening because it’s their job. That’s the kind of shit you do for the people you love.

your partner is not your therapist. listening to your partner is one thing, but it is not their responsibility to help you work through your shit. that is on you.

one more time.

your partner is not your therapist.

also if I may hop onto this, I REALLY hate when people try to spin “therapists only listen because it’s their job” as a BAD thing. can you imagine if we tried to apply that to literally any other profession?

“why take your phone into the store to get it fixed? they don’t care about you, they’re only doing their job.”

“I don’t want to order a pizza. they’re not making it for me out of the goodness of their hearts, they’re only doing it because it’s their job.”

“why didn’t you just have your girlfriend do that surgery instead of going to a stranger who only saved your life because it’s their job?”

it’s their job because they are better equipped to do it than the other people in your life. jesus christ. 

I’m a therapist. But I am not my girlfriend’s therapist.

With my girlfriend, I am free to be as partial, as irrational, as loving, as informal, and as irreverent as she and I like. And when we encounter an area of truly deep turmoil, I say–”I wish you’d talk to a professional about that.”

Because when I see clients as a therapist, the entire relationship is structured for them not to care about my wants or needs as a person, except for some very basic things: Meet a the time arranged, call if you can’t come, pay me, don’t physically assault me, don’t assume we’re friends outside of therapy. That isn’t because I don’t love my clients immensely; it’s like ensuring the sterility of an operating room. It’s a necessary basis for some of the work I do.

The self-contained nature of the therapy relationship gives them an environment that can handle the most radioactive of feelings. Inside my office, they can tell me about their rage and frustration with the people they love, and we can discuss whether that feeling is a rational, proportionate response; whether any good would come from sharing that feeling with the loved one in question; what the best way to strengthen that relationship is.  And so a child enjoys life sheltered from the knowledge that their existence might cause their parent bitterness or pain; so a spouse supports my client in their healing from an abusive childhood, without having to talk them down from crisis every time they look a little too much physically like my client’s abusive parent.

I screw up in my friendships and romantic relationships when I am too much of a therapist. When I pursue areas of pain and hurt instead of letting someone feel happy and secure in my presence, when I don’t let anyone see my own needs and feelings and am therefore unreachable, when I respond to my loved ones’ concerns with logical analysis instead of acceptance and sympathy.

My therapy clients do not pay me to care, or to pretend to care. I’m a therapist because I already care. They just pay me so that I can feed and clothe myself while I devote my time to caring about them.

Yup yup yup