tenderlesbian:

to be honest, people need to stop acting as if lesbians have to be absolutely disgusted and repulsed by the idea of dating a man (or being sexually involved with a man) in order to be a lesbian.

this kind of mindset leads to women telling themselves “oh, i guess i could tolerate being with that man. if i had to be with him, i don’t think i would vehemently hate it.” and they literally think that means they can’t be a lesbian?? which is far from the truth, in fact, if you’re telling yourself things like this you’re most likely a lesbian.

attraction is supposed to feel good. not tolerable. if you say things like “if i had to be with him-” just stop yourself right there, because you don’t have to be with him! don’t ever settle for being with someone who you just tolerate. don’t ever settle for being with a man who makes you say “i can put up with him, i can stand him. i can endure being with him”