The problem with being introverted is that there is no polite way to say “I love you, but I’m tired of being with you right now.”
This post makes me so sad because I remember when my husband felt he couldn’t say this to me. Because society had pounded it into his head so thoroughly that it ‘wasn’t polite to ask for alone time’ that he felt he wasn’t allowed to. And he was SO MISERABLE. I, being an extrovert myself, had no idea. It wasn’t until, after lots of trial and error and lots of fighting and crying that we finally figured it out.
Saying ‘I love you, but I’m tired of being around people right now. I need time to recharge.’ is NOT IMPOLITE. If someone you say it to thinks it is? Then they need to learn what being introverted means. You can try to help them understand that you need to recharge your batteries. If they refuse to accept it… well, then, you’re never going to work anyways. Because you should NEVER sacrifice your mental health just to keep from hurting someone else’s feelings.
You can ask for alone time politely. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s not being mean. It’s not being rude. Explain that you need time to recharge. That you just need to be alone with yourself for a while. It’s so important. And the people who truly love you in return will learn and adapt as much as you do.
This is a great post and I heartily second it. However, I’d like to see some tips that allow extraverts to recognize signs of social fatigue in those close to them. It’s ideal to say to an introvert, ‘tell me when you need space,’ but sometimes that’s an emotional burden that a socially fatigued introvert might not be able to do when they’re already fatigued.
I’m an introvert myself, so I don’t know what my ‘tells’ are. I guess perhaps becoming less responsive or not paying attention as well as usual. Perhaps if you notice this in your introverts, you can talk to them or just go do something else for a while. Even just like silently reading or scanning the internet. That’s enough for me, but I know some introverts go so far as to need to be fully alone.
I think something an introvert could do though might be to wait for a moment they’re not fatigued and say ‘when I do or say this <insert thing>, it means I’m going off for some recharge’? ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Thoughtfulfangirling 