Some people are so against “pregnant people” because it includes trans men and nb folks that they don’t seem to realize it includes cis women and girls.
A huge number of trans men have said that the term triggers their dysphoria but alright
Alright.
No, I won’t just say “pregnant women.” Because I’m talking about pregnant people, women included.
How many trans men do you know of who want to be pregnant?
It’s ridiculous to try to change language to be inclusive of the 0.0001% at most. Just because pre-T trans men CAN get pregnant doesn’t mean they do except in VERY rare cases. I can’t think of anything that would trigger a trans man’s dysphoria more.
Actual trans man here!!!! I had a baby and you know what was triggering??? People lumping me in with women literally constantly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My entire pregnancy everything was about pregnant women!!!! I was constantly referred to as a pregnant woman in all of the resources and literature!!!!!! Not to mention the fact that people like you are the reason I wasnt able to find gender neutral or masculine pregnancy clothing!!!! So I was uncomfortable literally ALL THE TIME
But you’re going to sit here and PRETEND to care about men like me who WILLINGLY go through pregnancy and child birth by…. Refusing to recognize that we exist in far greater number than you think?? You’re literally going to sit there and use us as a weapon against… US???? What kind of fucked up next level transphobia is that??????
We exist, we’re here, and just because you’re transphobic doesn’t give you the right to use our names in your crusade against us. Pregnancy was triggering in its own ways, but you know what? I would do it a billion times over for my child. I would go through all of it again and again and again for them. It can’t be helped that that was what was necessary to bring them into the world
But what CAN be helped is transphobic people like you not exacerbating our dysphoria by insisting on calling us women just because you don’t like acknowedging that we exist. I’m not a fucking mythical unicorn that you can pull out to try and win arguments. I’m real. Sorry that this is inconvenient for you.
Second trans man weighing in here. I also have been pregnant, a total of three times. The first resulted in the birth of my daughter, and I knew I was trans before getting pregnant. After having her we realized that my window for having the second child that we wanted was closing because my dysphoria was getting worse and worse and I ended up having a miscarriage at 8 weeks, which sucked, and then a miscarriage at 22 weeks, which as devastating because 1) 22 weeks was a fucking long time to fight through dysphoria only for a pregnancy to fail, 2) i knew that my dysphoria was bad enough that I could never put myself through this again, so our dream of having 2 kids was over and 3) my temporary physician’s refusal to listen to me when I said that I would never be pregnant again and to please schedule me for a d&c was flat out ignored because she was certain I’d change my mind and decide to have another baby and wouldn’t let me do anything that wasn’t let the tissue pass naturally, which is unfortunate because my body straight up hung onto it for six fucking months. I spent half a year that I desperately wanted to be considering a plan for transitioning going in for weekly blood tests to measure my levels, of having people, doctors, nurses, blood lab technicians telling me that it was okay, I’d “get to be a mommy again” as soon as this was all cleared up.
So much of having children is centred around being a mother, being a woman, the gift of motherhood. I hated every second of that, and that was all anyone could talk about through all of it. But you know what? I still had a baby. What would you have me do? Pretend I didn’t? Throw either myself or my husband under the bus every time someone asks how we managed to acquire a baby? How our family exists? Who do I devalue? Whose contribution is less important? Who has to pretend that they’re not genetically related to our child, who gets the credit for how fucking hard it was to bring her into this world, into a family that loves her more than anything?
Pregnancy was not easy, and it was even harder because of my dysphoria. I sacrificed a LOT to make our family happen, and I would rather be counted among ‘pregnant people’ than ‘pregnant women’, and I certainly don’t want to hide my hard fucking work to make others feel comfortable.
Trans men can and do have their own children pre, mid and post transition, and we’re far more common than you seem to think we are. Don’t speak on our behalf, especially when we’re loudly telling you to stay in your own lane.
Im a trans man who plans on getting pregnant quite soon i prefer ‘pregnant person’ and while I’m pregnant if anyone calls me a pregnant woman i am going to slap them.
While we’re at it, the insistence on equating pregnancy with motherhood/womanhood is the exact kind of thing that makes people think they can only refer to sperm-producing parents as “the father”, which is also infuriating (if not quite as infuriating as it would be to be pregnant on top of that)
I’m not trans or non binary, so if you are one of those things, feel free to disagree with me because you know better.
But like, it’s unfair to ask men to be more involved in child rearing without allowing the men who can carry babies have kids. Or allowing them to, but calling them mothers. It reminds me of how stigmatized men are for taking care of kids. Or hell, even calling them “mommy dads” or whatever.
We know trans men exist. And we should acknowledge their masculinity despite whatever parts they may have. And just like what we should expect from any other man in 2017, we should expect men to be able to do an equal amount of child rearing as possible, and that can include carrying the baby if they have a womb.
Let men have babies 2K17. Let NB people have babies too btw. 2K17.
As a trans dude, I 100% agree. I even have my own story to add on about the whole “mommy dads” thing.
After coming back into state to stay with my wife’s “family” (we don’t call them that now, but we did at the time due to being related) until we could get a place. We were there most of my pregnancy and when I legally changes my documents.
It was her “father”, his wife, and their 3 kids.
Around comes mother’s day. I’m up in the morning, probably didn’t go to bed yet. She comes over and wishes me a happy mother’s day. I made kinda an awkward smile and wished her one as well.
Later she tells my wife she didn’t even think before saying it (no shit)
But it was okay! Cause fathers can be mothers too!
She literally fuckin said that.
No. That’s not how it works.
Trans man here with a 6 day old infant who was planned and much wanted and deeply loved. We exist in far far greater numbers than people seem to think. A lot of trans men want to have families the same as everyone else and a lot of us do. I have the equipment so I used it and I’m very glad I did. But everything regarding pregnancy being automatically woman-oriented was incredibly hard for me to deal with whilst facing dysphoria. ‘So few trans men do it that there’s no need to change the language!’ – bullshit. Changing the language we use regarding pregnancy and childbirth does no harm to women at all and helps those of us who aren’t women. It doesn’t have any negative outcome. It is literally just including everyone. If you’re against that, your transphobia is showing.
As a trans man who does find the possibility of pregnancy intensely dysphoric, I absolutely prefer “pregnant people” to “pregnant women.” I also prefer gender neutral language surrounding birth control for people who can get pregnant, because that is what I am. There might not be as many trans men who want to have babies, but if you don’t want to get pregnant, then the conversation switches to birth control. Everything about women’s reproductive health is framed as women’s reproductive health, even if you’re a man.
So no, they’re not pregnant women. They’re pregnant people. These are not feminine hygiene products. They’re menstrual products. This is not female birth control. It’s birth control, and it’s mine.
Nonbinary, been pregnant five times, have three living children. Have been a doula and childbirth educator in the past and dedicated most of my adult life to issues around pregnancy, childbearing, breastfeeding, babywearing and parenting.
Gender inclusive language is a must.
Published
Thoughtfulfangirling 