8dx:

geekdawson:

“trans men aren’t in danger like trans women are. They are just mistaken for girls in boys clothes and that’s fairly socially acceptable”

this is a limited perspective from young, non or only partially-passing trans men, probably who live in urban areas.

I’m never mistaken for a girl in boys clothing. I am “mistaken” for a man. I have been slapped (not too big a deal), jumped and BADLY beaten by a group of men (way bigger deal), and seriously threatened with rape (one of the more terrifying moments of my life) to prove to me that I can’t “pretend to be a man” and “lie to people” and “get away with it”.

I have seen more than one post (and there’s one going around right now) promoting this idea that trans men are comparatively safe.  

are we safer than trans women? Usually. But we are by no means safe. Trans women are in IMMENSE danger, the fact that we’re in less danger than them does NOT make our real risk invalid or not as important to talk about. 

Here’s a radical idea: stop telling other trans men how at risk they are or aren’t. Your experience is NOT everyone’s experience and I am exhausted with the implication that trans men are safe. Safer, when we pass, but the same is true of trans women who pass, they are comparatively safer than trans women who don’t pass. That doesn’t make them SAFE. 

Regardless, this isn’t a “who’s in more danger” race, y’all. Trans people are at risk. Trans women can talk about being at risk without implying that trans men aren’t. And trans men can talk about being at risk without somehow detracting from the risk trans women experience. 

This isn’t a competition. Love and support your brothers and sisters and nonbinary sibs, all of whom face immense risk out there. 

this is a good post and i really appreciate it, but if i may just add:

the person that i tried to talk to about this refused to accept that people who are or appear to be women that dress/”look like” men (ie non passing trans men in this instance, but that also obviously has implications for butch women) are in danger.

i am often mistaken for a girl in mens clothing, as only recently have i started (conditionally) passing. this makes life difficult, as this very often prompts homophobic or transphobic harassment. im lucky that i live in the area that i do, or else it may have turned to violence (and it has gotten close).

most people dont realize im trans and assume im a butch lesbian, and yes, butch lesbians and trans men face violence and other negative things for being gender non conforming. several people said “well, im afab and masculine, and i appear to be a tomboy, and im safe all the time!” that’s great for you and i hope that doesnt change. that hasn’t been my experience, and anecdotally, it hasnt been the case for most gnc women and trans men.

trans men shouldnt derail trans women’s posts with “what about me?” comments, but its necessary that information about our experiences are accurate.