thecheshirecass:

becausedragonage:

Further to the post on getting called out, here’s the formula I use when I have to apologize for something I’ve done:

I apologize for [outline what you did wrong. Re-word the complaint if you need to. This is to let people know you understand what you did wrong].

I will [relate what you’ll do to fix the issue whether it’s re-colour a pic or delete a post].

From now on I will [relate what changes you’ll make so that you won’t repeat the mistake].

Thank you for giving me a chance to fix/address this!

I like ‘apologize’ better than ‘sorry’ because I think it carries more weight. 

Don’t try to explain why you did something. It’s not important at all. You might think you’re helping people understand where you’re coming from, but really, you’re just distracting from the real message which is that you acknowledge you caused hurt, and that you’re sorry for that. Believe me, it speaks to the quality of your character if you can put aside your explanation for the sake of repairing the harm you did.

I still get defensive and anxious when callouts happen, but it’s a lot better than it used to be. The most important thing for me to remember is that despite how I feel, I caused hurt, and it would be irresponsible for me to carry on without addressing that. 

This is a great breakdown of a good apology. None of this “i’m sorry if you were offended” nonsense please.