I wish I had a million chicken nuggets
They all bitten into
I wish I had 5mil and an annual vacation to Hawaii
Granted but it means you relive the same year over and over
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner
You’re turned into a tofu dog instead.
I wish I could travel as much as I want whenever I want
Granted but you have to ride as cargo or be shipped fedex style
I wish I could cook like a top chef
Granted but you can’t season your food
I wish i had multiple talents
Granted but one of them is uncontrollable flatulence
I wish I had a pet cow the size of a puppy
granted, but it still takes regular cow sized shits and refuses to be trained.
i wishi could change my hair color & legnth at will
Granted but all your hair, everywhere grows/changes at once
I wish I could live my dream job.
granted, but it pays minimum wage with no benefits or chance for promotion.
i wish i could teleport wherever i wanted whenever i wanted
Granted, but you lose a limb everytime you teleport
I wish I had telekinesis
granted, but every time you use ur telekinesis your brain cells drastically deplete
i wish i had the power to cure anyone of any disease
Granted but every time you cure a disease you have a stroke
I wish I was the world’s best kickboxer
Granted but your only opponents are kindergartners
I wish my student loans were all paid off
oh my god
granted, but sharks were hunted and sold to pay it off
I wish there were no lgbtqphobic people
Granted but now the animals have evolved into phobic dicks like zootopia
I wish I had long mermaid hair
granted, but the hair will strangle you if you fall asleep ever
I wish I had the farm of my dreams
Granted but your dreams are weird so now you have a clown farm
I wish I had a nicer butt
Granted, but now you just have a severed butt on the floor-it’s quite round though.
I wish my boyfriend lived closer.
Granted, but he is now seven inches tall and lives under your bed
I wish my room had better heating
Granted, but it’s now always too hot and you can’t turn it down
I wish I could stop time at will
Granted, but you feel like you need to sneeze the entire time you stop the timeflow
I wish i could create a universe in the palm of my hand
Granted but now this universe exists on the surface of your palm, attached to you forever.
I wish I could speak/write many languages fluently with minimal effort.
granted but your handwriting is unreadable and you have a slur that makes you impossible to understand
i wish i could create whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it
Granted but everyone hates it no matter what you make.
I wish every cat in the world would love me.
They do but everyone else is so jealous that they hate you and keep their cats away from you.
I wish I had motivation in my life.
Granted, but you’ll only ever be motivated to balance rocks on the beach.
I wish I could instantly teleport to anywhere I wanted to go.
Granted, but every time you do you shift to a parallel universe.
I wish I could fly…
Granted, but it takes more energy to fly than to run.
I wish I wasn’t so itchy
Thoughtfulfangirling 