Hey, internet friend, I’m making this public without tagging you because I think I need help helping you.
Depression, or whatever other mental illness you have, is LYING to you.
You don’t deserve this because it’s not a punishment, it’s an illness.
You don’t need a goal, a reason, an excuse to fight for your life.
You don’t need a justification to exist.
You are not worthless because no human being is worthless.
You actually also pretty fucking cool.
You don’t have to like yourself or be happy with yourself or feel like you’re all right in order to fight. In fact that’s a paradox- if you were happy with yourself you wouldn’t feel like shit and you wouldn’t be in danger of dying from depression.
And depression lies to you about EVERYTHING.
It doesn’t want to allow you to have ANY joy or confidence or comfort.
Fuck it.
The facts are simple: you are in a deep hole full of darkness. If you stay there, you will die. Maybe now, maybe in twenty years, but you will suffer and die.
If you try to climb out, you will suffer. You will suffer a LOT. But you will encounter more options on the way up than in that hole.
Because there is NOTHING down there.
I know because I’ve been there. I’ve been stuck there for a long time. Some days, more often than I’d like, I slip from where I am and I can smell that darkness, I can feel how cold it is below. Some days, I’m walking on a very thin wire right above that abyss, and it feels hopeless, like I’m doomed to fall.
Climb. Crawl. Sit up. Look up. Lift one finger. The middle finger. If that’s all you can do today, it’s still fighting. If all you can do is breathe ‘fuck you’ to the darkness, do it. If you can’t even do that, just hold on to the knowledge that you are being lied to. That’s still fighting.
Refuse to be beaten.
Fight.
You don’t need a reason.
All the reasons you want to die are lies.
You don’t need a reason to live.
FIGHT.
Also, I am sorry but I’m not gonna bullshit you here. Depression is a lonely fucking fight which you gotta be prepared to fight alone. Yes, people will get tired of you, they will be afraid of you, they will retreat because they will be afraid of making things worse, they will vanish because they won’t know how to help, or because they just don’t have enough strength to handle your depression as well as their own problems. Even the ones who care.
That doesn’t matter. All that matters is you.
FIGHT.
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Thoughtfulfangirling 