Me: I was just street harassed. A guy pulled his truck up along side me while I was riding my bike and asked if I wanted a ride.
Guy: Pshht, what’s the big deal? I offer people rides all the time. I’m just being a nice guy.
Half Dozen Women and Femme Folks: Please do not offer rides to strangers on the street, especially women. Your intentions may be to be nice, but the impact is that we feel creeped out and scared.
Guy: WHAA! I guess I’m not allowed to be a nice person just because I’m male! This is not gender equality!
Me:
OK. Do you remember that character Elmyra on the cartoon Tiny Toon Adventures? Do you
remember when she would grab the animals and say “I’m going to hug you
and kiss you and love you”, and squeezed the shit out of them? SHE
thought she was giving love, but THEY hated it, and didn’t want it.
This
is you. When “being nice”, it’s not actually nice if YOU are the only
one who thinks your behavior is nice, and the recipients of your
“niceness” are saying umm, no thanks, I hate this.
^ Not actually nice.
A number of folks said the Elmyra/Nice Guys™
analogy was helpful, so I thought I’d share it here for quick reference
Thoughtfulfangirling 