Just don’t…

odinsblog:

When women talk about the current state of sexism and misogyny, it isn’t the job of men to derail and change the subject by bloviating about what a goodguy™ they think they are.

When Lgbtq people complain about the state of discrimination, homophobia or trans-misogyny, that is not a cue for straight cis people to interject themselves into the conversation by proclaiming how “tolerant” and accepting they think they are. 

When Black people talk about institutional anti-blackness and racism, that is not a personal invitation for white people to derail by talking about how “colorblind” they think they are. And it also isn’t a challenge for NBPoC to derail with their version of the Oppression Olympics.

When people living with a disability talk about ableism or how difficult it is living in a world not made to accommodate them is, guess what? That’s not a sign that they want abled people to change the conversation to how they (claim to) treat everyone equally regardless of physical or mental challenges.

Come on people. It’s not that difficult, is it? We get it. Everyone gets it: You think that you’re a great person. But your alleged greatness wasn’t the point of the conversation that you just barged into, was it? What does that really add to the convo? Telling everyone what a wonderful human being you think you are might make YOU feel a little better, but exactly what does that do for the people you just stepped all over? Nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing.

And yes, if you do this version of “but not ALL…” then you should feel badly for trying to turn a post about a marginalized group’s suffering into an opportunity to boast about what an outstanding person you believe you are. Trust me, no one’s going to mistake you for an ally when you pull this kind of shit. There is an easily recognizable difference between “I feel bad that this is happening to other people” and, “BUT I’M NOT LIKE THAT!”

Sometimes there are conversations oppressed people have that do not require your input if you aren’t being oppressed. Particularly when said input isn’t showing true empathy, but instead is nothing more meaningful than you trying (and failing) to masquerade your “humble bragging” about how enlightened you supposedly are. Stop derailing. Just stop it. Stop trying to make it all about you.