“supermom”: loses baby weight immediately, works outside the home, cooks all 3 meals for whole family, prepares packed lunches, cleans whole house, microcleans daily and constantly (dishes, laundry, folding laundry, wiping counters, sweeping, organizing, picking up after children), stays pretty, nurtures and feeds infants, emotionally supports children, brings children to extracurricular activities, puts children to sleep, grooms children, micro-grooms all day (wipes mouths, cleans hands, changes diapers), bathes children, clothes children, shops for children, grocery shops,
“superdad”: braids his daughter’s hair

lierdumoa:

thoughtfulproxy:

flamethrowing-hurdy-gurdy:

thoughtfulproxy:

I got one of those ‘is it most people or just me’ questions. 

If you’re eating something you don’t really like, is it fairly easy to push through it, or does it make you feel like you’re going to puke if you keep trying to eat? I kind of assumed this was a normal person thing, but people treat eating food you don’t like as a normal thing, especially in the context of ‘getting used to it’ or ‘learning to like it.’ 

So, normal or not? 

Depends on how much I don’t like it? Some foods just make me gag on sight, or I can’t handle their smell or texture. Some just aren’t tasty, and I can eat them but without enjoyment, and it gets more difficult with every mouthtful.

I was a picky eater as a child (I was known as the ‘bread and cheese’ kid cuz I wouldn’t eat anything else) and still am, and my parents always gave me that ‘learn to like it’ spiel. Never understood that. Why should I learn to like something I don’t like? 

Probably so I can eat it without making other people feel bad.  But also perhaps because my parents both remember a time when you couldn’t just pick what you liked, you got what was available and made do. No fully stocked supermarkets, no multitude of restaurants to choose from. That was my childhood, too, which doesn’t explain how I turned out to be so picky? but hey.

I dunno, I wondered too if it’s just people accepting this social norm of eating everything because you’re an adult, or if most folks just have an easier time with it physically.  It’s cool to discover new tastes but why force yourself? 

I’ve always been picky myself. The biggest problem now and the reason I hear ‘try it till you like it’ most is because I don’t like healthy food. I don’t know what it is. Maybe something about growing up on cheap food due to my parents being poor when I was young. Just about any vegetable is gross and anything fancy is generally gross to me too. 

There are foods that I find bland and can handle, but if I find it gross—doesn’t matter if it’s because of the taste or the texture—continuing to eat it makes me feel like vomiting. 

But one of my sisters today made a comment about having to like something because someone else she really likes liked it, and it just boggled my mind. I can’t just decide to like something. I’ve tried. It just doesn’t work. I’ll just feel like I’m going to vomit. Luckily it hasn’t Actually ever made me vomit, but that doesn’t make the feeling less pleasant. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ 

Glad to know others feel it too though. Haha 

If you have trouble eating “healthy food” it might be because your digestive system is having a panic reaction to too much too fast.

This especially applies to high fiber foods (like veggies). Fiber can cause a lot of digestive problems if your body isn’t used to it. It has to be introduced very gradually to avoid gas/bloating etc. The digestive system really, really doesn’t like abrupt change.

Different foods require different enzymes and intestinal microflora to digest. The amount of certain enzymes your body produces, and ratio of types of gut bacteria inhabiting your colon, depends a lot on the kind of food you regularly consume. 

I’m the opposite. I’m lucky that my dad was a doctor with a nice salary, so we could afford nice food. My parents’ cooking was always very nutritionally dense and also very culturally diverse because they’re from the Caribbean and a lot of the traditional Caribbean dishes combine ingredients and preparation techniques from multiple cultures (Persian, Chinese, Latin, British).

We lived right in the middle of California’s farming community. We had a bunch of different fruit trees growing in our yard, some that were planted deliberately, and some that were the result of natural seed dispersal from birds visiting nearby commercial fruit orchards and then shitting seeds into our yard. 

I grew up eating lots of weird health food shit and my body’s used to variety.

I get bored *very easily* when it comes to food. When I cook for myself, my meals tend to look like an hors d’oeuvres platter. 

It’s honestly a problem – I have credit card debt is because I spend too much money on food.

This wouldn’t terribly surprise me. The health food and digestive weirdness. I’ve been noticing more and more as I’ve been trying to eat better, that the seemingly healthier the meal is, the more likely I’m just going to feel hungry again in about an hour. When my sister first had me doing the Shakeology shakes to get some vegetable nutrition and what not, I was dealing with some stomach aches and stuff. Now it goes down well. 

But yeah, even though it’s unhealthy, it’s nice to be able to easily make/get a meal at a lower cost. There’s something pretty messed up about access to healthy food / cost. I know there’s a lot going on with all that, but it is pretty problematic how difficult it can be to consistently access healthy food. (｡☉︵ ಠ) 

joshnewberry:

Anyway if someone comes to you and tells you that they’re being abused, don’t  “talk to their abuser” without their consent. Like… that seems obvious but I’ve seen it happen and had it happen to me personally and it’s terrifying and it puts the victim’s life and safety and health in danger.

Chances are if an abuser finds out that their victim is talking about them behind their back, especially if they’re outing their abusive behavior, the victim will face consequences. They’ll be punished because their abuser will be pissed off that their name is being tarnished and they don’t have *as much control* over their victim as they thought. Unless you’re 100% fully capable of providing a guaranteed safe place for the victim to escape/hide from their abuser, you better not be confronting the abuser without the victim’s explicit permission because all you’re doing is putting them in more danger.

lierdumoa:

I always get sort of vaguely annoyed when people start talking about how a male actor has “leveled up” in the attractiveness department now that he’s put on 40 lbs of muscle for some role, as if beefy dudes are objectively more desirable than slim dudes.

Like that’s just your personal taste. It’s not a universal metric.

I feel like it’s this heteronormative and cis-normative thing equating muscular development with male maturity/masculinity/dominance/superiority.

You’re essentially implying that less muscular men are “leveled down” – underdeveloped, boyish, effeminate, etc.

And that in turn implies that any woman not attracted to super beefy dudes is either a “lesbian in denial” or an ephebophile.

And, like, as a bi/pansexual gender questioning person … ugh, this is hard to put into words.

But basically one aspect of biphobia that bisexuals deal with a lot is being told we have access to “straight privilege.” And one of the straight privileges we supposedly have access to is the ability to relate to hetero romances as they are portrayed in the media, in a way that lesbians cannot.

And I don’t know how to explain that the heteronormative paradigm for different sex relationships that’s presented in the media is just as alienating to me as it is to lesbians.

That I don’t just find mainstream het romances un-relatable, but I in fact find most of them actively repellant?

And I recognize that I don’t speak for all bisexuals, and my attraction to androgyny and gender fluidity is my own personal taste.

I just feel like society keeps bombarding me with the message that being a mature woman means being attracted to “real men”, where maleness and male maturity are both defined through toxic masculinity. And I feel like that in turn helps perpetuate the idea that bisexuality is a mark of immaturity – a phase straight women go through in their youth.

Like I read this infuriating article a while back where film critic David Rooney, in a review of last year’s lesbian romance Carol, states, “I spent much of Carol asking, “Why would anyone leave Kyle Chandler?” [source]

And like, of course he finds it inexplicable. I’m not surprised any man would find it inexplicable. Kyle Chandler, who plays the role of Harge, is after all what society tells us women are supposed to want. Society and the media devote a lot of resources to reassuring men like Harge that all lesbians are secretly bisexual, and that all bisexual women are secretly immature straight girls going through an experimental phase they’ll eventually out-grow.

Gender fluidity, particularly in AFAB individuals, is similarly pathologized. The media loves the story of the “tomboy” who grows up and transforms into a hyperfeminine, sexually objectifiable “bombshell,” which essentially conflates gender non-conformity in AFAB individuals with youth and immaturity.

(Gender non-conformity in AMAB individuals, in contrast, is more typically conflated with sexual predation/perversion, duplicity, mental illness, sociopathy and DID in particular, etc. – at least according to my personal informal observations)

Huh.

You know now that I think about it, that’s a discussion that really needs to happen.

We should be talking more about the transphobic underpinnings of the “hot girl who used to be a tomboy” trope.

.

Anyway this post kind of went all over the place. I might to re-address these issues more cogently later. Just spitballing, for now.

riotrite:

I realized that an academic concept I talk about a lot, but haven’t necessarily ever explained, is structural violence. So this is what I mean when I say it:

Structural violence is a non-traditional way of thinking about violence. Essentially, it considers harm enacted by social systems, implicit and explicit, to be just as violent as interpersonal violence and warfare. It’s the starvation of one person while another has more than they can eat. It’s workplace discrimination, and therefore the deprivation of entire demographics of people of opportunities and well-being. It’s a lack of healthcare systems because of bloated military budgets.

You get the idea. All these things hurt people physically, emotionally, and so on just as much as intentional/interpersonal violence, but they’re much easier to ignore. The lines are often blurred, though- police violence against black people is both structural and interpersonal. It’s not exclusive. It’s just a way of thinking about the world that equally values human life and wellness regardless of how it’s threatened.

boltyourface:

lowoncliches:

bankuei:

meagan-hood:

kyidyl:

why-bless-your-heart:

HOSPITALS. ARE. ALREADY. REQUIRED. UNDER. LAW. TO. PROVIDE. LIFE. SAVING. EMERGENCY. CARE. REGARDLESS. OF. ABILITY. TO. PAY. OR. EVEN. CITIZENSHIP.

Stop acting like Americans have no access to emergency healthcare unless we socialize medicine.

IF. YOU. GO. AND. CAN’T. PAY. YOU’RE. STILL. THOUSANDS. IN. DEBT. THIS. IS. NOT. ACCESS.

This hospital in my city just threw out a homeless man

The hospital which took me in after I collapsed from the fist sized tumor over my heart, released me after refusing to diagnose it as cancer, which would have forced them to give me some kind of treatment. The doctor at the county hospital which took me in looked at their tests and said, “this is CLEARLY cancer, why didn’t they diagnose it? We can’t let you leave.”

Hospitals find ways when they want to, to avoid helping people when they want to.

“Oh that’s illegal, you should sue” “ with what money and how will I get the time and energy when I’m busy recovering from chemo?”

People who can’t afford treatment also can’t afford to protect their rights.

Absolutely this: “People who can’t afford treatment also can’t afford to protect their rights.”

It’s true that you can go to an emergency room and get treatment no matter if you can actually pay for it, this is exactly why medical bills are the number 1 cause of bankruptcy in america. It’s not that they won’t charge you for this care, it’s that they are ok when you declare bankruptcy to prove that you can’t pay for it, because they will get payed either way, either through taxes or higher insurance premiums. This is exactly why the United States pays a higher percentage of it’s GDP on healthcare than most other countries. Also because people aren’t able to afford preventive care so they just have to deal with it until it actually puts them in a hospital.