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Month: April 2016
On Building Better Male Protagonists
We need more women in the media on every level and in every aspect. That’s a given.
We also need better men in the media, on every level, and in every aspect.
Women in the media still have to achieve twice as much as men to get half the respect, both behind the scenes and on screen.
Chris Rock, while remarking on Obama being the first black U.S. president, said “That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years.” This same sentiment applies to feminism. If we’re seeing more women in the media, it’s not because women have gotten better. It’s because men have gotten better. Ultimately, if we want to continue making things better for women, it’s men’s behavior that has to change. If we want to bring more women into male dominated fields, men need to stop creating hostile work environments for them.
And this is why I grow so weary of feminist media that continues to surround its female leads with Loveable MisogynistTM and Nice GuyTM male protagonists.
We need more protagonists like Steve Rogers, who accept rejection with grace, instead of treating flirtation like a sales transaction to be haggled over. We need more protagonists like Wade Wilson, a man in his mid thirties who thinks getting hit on by an woman nearly half his age is awkward and disturbing, instead of sexy, and who genuinely respects and admires his age-appropriate girlfriend who does sex work. We need more Fury Road version Max Rockatanskys, more Finn
Damerons, more Peeta Mellarks, and more Raleigh Beckets.I by no means want to devalue the importance calling out problematic male behavior. On the contrary – it’s important to show that even well meaning men can unintentionally cause harm.
But there’s no point telling men and boys “what not to do” if we’re not also showing men and boys what they should be doing.
When the media fails to consistently portray positive male role models, the consequence of this failure is the normalization of male entitlement, casual misogyny, and other sexist micro-aggressions and macro-aggressions.
No doubt it was someone playing the role of leader who conjured up the notion that we “fall in love,” that we lack choice and decision when choosing a partner because when the chemistry is present, when the click is there, it just happens—it overwhelms—it takes control. This way of thinking about love seems to be especially useful for men who are socialized via patriarchal notions of masculinity to be out of touch with what they feel. In the essay “Love and Need,” Thomas Merton contends: “The expression to ‘fall in love’ reflects a peculiar attitude toward love and life itself—a mixture of fear, awe, fascination, and confusion. It implies suspicion, doubt, hesitation in the presence of something unavoidable, yet not fully reliable.” If you do not know what you feel, then it is difficult to choose love; it is better to fall. Then you do not have to be responsible for your actions.
Even though psychoanalysts, from Fromm writing in the fifties to Peck in the present day, critique the idea that we fall in love, we continue to invest in the fantasy of effortless union. We continue to believe we are swept away, caught up in the rapture, that we lack choice and will. In The Art of Loving, Fromm repeatedly talks about love as action, “essentially an act of will.” He writes: “To love somebody is not just a strong feeling—it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go.” Peck builds upon Fromm’s definition when he describes love as the will to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth, adding: “The desire to love is not itself love. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will – namely, both an intention and action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” Despite these brilliant insights and the wise counsel they offer, most people remain reluctant to embrace the idea that it is more genuine, more real, to think of choosing to love rather than falling in love.
[…] we are all capable of shifting our paradigms, the foundational ways of thinking and doing things that become habitual. We are all capable of changing our attitudes about “falling in love.” We can acknowledge the “click” we feel when we meet someone new as just that—a mysterious sense of connection that may or may not have anything to do with love. However, it could or could not be the primal connection while simultaneously acknowledging that it will lead us to love. How different-things might be if, rather than saying “I think I’m in love,” we were saying “I’ve connected with someone in a way that makes me think I’m on the way to knowing love.” Or, if instead of saying “I am in love,” we said “I am loving” or “I will love.” Our patterns around romantic love are unlikely to change if we do not change our language.
bell hooks, Romance: Sweet Love
(via brassmanticore)
This sounds so much healthier.
(via redshoesnblueskies)
“women invented beer” really??
@sharkfinshuffle say stuff
FINE I’ll just do your homework for you. Trust me, it’s not just “what we think”, we have ample evidence and it’s pretty much unanimously agreed upon among brewers that women were traditionally the ones brewing and often drinking the beer. So long long story short: yes, brewing was very much a women’s craft in the majority of cultures worldwide pre-industrialisation. A couple of popular brewing textbooks state:
“Initially, brewing was carried out as home brewing by women for domestic use only. It was part of the daily housework next to cooking and baking bread.” (Handbook of Brewing, Priest and Stewart, 2006)
“Traditionally, [African] beers are made by women brewsters, as was the case medieval Europe, and they may be consumed with some ceremony.” (Brewing, Briggs, Brookes, and Stevens, 2003)
And here are some articles:
A (Very) Brief History of Women in Beer
http://growlermag.com/women-in-beer/
Honestly though, just google “women brewing history”.
lol wow thank you!!! i will spread this information in the world
also will use it to shut down Manly Beer Drinker of all sorts
THIS IS USEFUL! I SHALL BE TAKING THIS INTO MY LOCAL MICROBREWERY AND BEING OBNOXIOUSLY FEMINIST. I LOVE YOU FOR THIS SO MUCH!
Fun fact: men (specifically, monks) started adding hops to beer. Hops makes beer taste bitter – the tast men today insist is the “true” tast of beer which makes it a masculine drink. The fun part of it is that hops is a phytoestrogen which is (according to some sources – there are disproving articles so I won’t say it’s absolutely true) responsible for low sex drive, lower energy, man boobs, and abdominal fat. Actually, monks started using hops in beer in order to lower libido of men in the monastery.
This came up just now in the Irish Times in regards to a brewery in Mechelen in Belgium. (Yet another reason to get back there.)
yeah, at least it’s what we think, since women were the ones who started brewing shit. the goddess of brewery and beer is, well, a goddess and not a god, which is probably because women were the ones starting it historically.
“Women’s role in the history of beer is often forgotten,” says Sofie Vanrafelghem,
author and master beer sommelier. “One of the very first written
documents to refer to beer,” she says, “was an ode written 3,800 years
ago to the Sumerian goddess Ninkasi, whose priestesses brewed beer in
her honour.”This data’s been on my radar for a while now. I remember being in one of our favorite places in Dublin, Porterhouse Central, and spotting a sign hanging up above one of the aisles that said BEERS BREWED BY MEN, NOT MACHINES. A nice enough sentiment, but unfortunately / unnecessarily gendered.
I was in a bit of a mischievous mood and said to the barman, “No women?” “Nope,” he said.
I said, “You should really get at least one woman brewer in here. For historical reasons if nothing else. Didn’t you know that until a couple of centuries ago it was illegal for men to brew in Dublin?”
He was kind of stunned. True, though. It was traditional in the city from Viking times that only women should brew. In fact there was a sense that it was unlucky for men to brew, that the beer would fail, that it didn’t like them.
My bartender was a little bemused by this. “But why would that be?”
I just kind of laughed. “Women,” I said. “Yeast. We have a relationship.”
I wish I could describe the series of expressions that went across his face. 🙂
A different, but equally interesting, set just went across mine *lmao*
STOLEN!
just once I would like to see a really openly trans actor play a cis character and watch all the cishets just lose their fucking minds
YES
I know we blame older people for the shit that’s wrong in the world, and not without some reason, but legislature affects them too, and the oldest of them are in some of the worst situations. Needing medication they can’t afford, facing a remaining life in a nursing home, often being literally under the whim of the government if they don’t have family close by to care for them.
Our society already de-values you as you get older, and it is an issue. I understand frustration with older folk who can’t seem to change their ways, but they too are voting to try and make their lives more manageable. There’s something pretty terrible about a call to try and disenfranchise the elderly by saying they shouldn’t be allowed to vote.
We’re largely just angry because they vote more than we do. (I imagine a lifetime of watching shitty politics all around plays a factor in that.)
Just, please don’t be like this. Remember, Bernie’s old. There are old people who aren’t bigots. Like… I don’t know. There’s just so much wrong with this sentiment.
If someone hated women so much that they’d go out of their way to pay them less,
does anyone honestly believe they’d even hire them in the first place?
It’s not a question on whether or not someone “hates” women, its a question of how much women’s work is valued.
For example, we know that as a field becomes more woman dominated, the prestige and pay associated with that field begins to drop. The New York Times recently did a story on this and included some really telling information and sources:
“[Paula England] is a co-author of one of the most comprehensive studies of the phenomenon, using United States census data from 1950 to 2000, when the share of women increased in many jobs. The study, which she conducted with Asaf Levanon, of the University of Haifa in Israel, and Paul Allison of the University of Pennsylvania, found that when women moved into occupations in large numbers, those jobs began paying less even after controlling for education, work experience, skills, race and geography.”
“Consider the discrepancies in jobs requiring similar education and responsibility, or similar skills, but divided by gender. The median earnings of information technology managers (mostly men) are 27 percent higher than human resources managers (mostly women),according to Bureau of Labor Statistics data. At the other end of the wage spectrum, janitors (usually men) earn 22 percent more than maids and housecleaners (usually women).”
“A striking example is to be found in the field of recreation — working in parks or leading camps — which went from predominantly male to female from 1950 to 2000. Median hourly wages in this field declined 57 percentage points, accounting for the change in the value of the dollar, according to a complex formula used by Professor Levanon. The job of ticket agent also went from mainly male to female during this period, and wages dropped 43 percentage points.
The same thing happened when women in large numbers became designers (wages fell 34 percentage points), housekeepers (wages fell 21 percentage points) and biologists (wages fell 18 percentage points). The reverse was true when a job attracted more men. Computer programming, for instance, used to be a relatively menial role done by women. But when male programmers began to outnumber female ones, the job began paying more and gained prestige.”
Cat Burglar (via benji)
AU: Furiosa’s cat steals underwear. Max is the neighbour who kept wondering where his boxers went.
now they’ve figured this out, Max mayyyy now leave his clean laundry outside on the table a little longer, because Furiosa drops by regularly when her cat comes home with anyI’m imagining Max’s embarrassment if the roles were reversed.
One time when she’s in her garden she hears him through the thick hedge, hissing “Nux, NO! We talked about this!”
He puts up a hilarious ‘It’s not me, I swear, it’s this asshole’ note with a photo of smug Nux-the-cat carrying a pair of panties around.
When she comes to pick up her underwear, he’s far too embarrassed to flirt or notice her flirting. At the 3rd time she picks up her stuff she blatantly says “I feel like with all you’ve seen of my panties, you ought to at least buy me dinner“
»swofehuper« by richard tipping (+)
[via]
men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their biological inferiority and general superfluousness
this is not just the “natural order” this is the language of a patriarchal culture
Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me ache something terrible. In my linguistics class in undergrad, we actually made fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason, because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do.
- She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto-Germanic words meaning ‘that/there’. He as a word evolved from the same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for ‘this/here’. Your idea of “patriarchal language” further falls apart when you compare this part of English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the words in German for he and she are “er” and “sie”, completely unrelated. So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the words “he” and “she” in English have similar form.
- Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this one. Man did not used to mean “male”, man used to mean “humanity/human being”, the old words in Old English for male adult person and female adult person were “werman” and “wifman” respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as being the remnants of the base “wer-” and the base “wif-”. Woman evolved phonologically from the word “wifman” by natural processes where the ‘f’ sound dropped and the ‘i’ became lax. Man dropped its “wer” stem for reasons mostly unknown but I can guarantee have nothing to do with “patriarchy” because phonological change has no basis in that.
- Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two completely different words. Male comes from Old French “masle” which meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well “femella” which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she, where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having any direct correlation in historical linguistic processes to make them as such.
- Human: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo-European “ghomon” which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for “man” in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of.
- Person: This one offends me the most, simply because I love the fuck out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at this point. Person derives from “persona” from Latin which meant the same meaning, which ultimately derived from “phersu” Etruscan for ‘mask’ as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks to give identity to the performers. So never once did “person” have any meaning to do with “son”. So yes, this IS the “natural order” or language.
Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do fact checking, I will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in your lane.
thank god for the explanation above
@langsandlit ho come un deja vù. Ma uno di quelli grossi.
@myworldoflanguages …. ti prego no… non di nuovo. amen al tipo che ha illuminato le masse tumbleriane
::cracks knuckles::
Okay, rhysiare, you wanna have a battle of linguistics? I’m ready. You mention having an undergraduate linguistics class under your belt and your blog identifies you as a grad student but you don’t say what in. I am also a grad student, with a BS and MA in linguistics and working towards a PhD in it. So now that our credentials are on the table…
1. While you’re right about almost all these word origins, the Proto-Indo-European roots of a word have little or nothing to do with the way a word is analyzed and interpreted synchronically (in the present day) by speakers. When I teach Ling 100 to undergrads, I see plenty of students who are native speakers spontaneously segment “per+son,” “wo+man,” “hu+man,” and “fe+male” exactly as the original image does. If you’re not familiar with the idea of morphological reanalysis, of course, I’m happy to explain it in more depth. If you are, then you should realize that appealing to the history of a word in a discussion about its present usage is fallacious at best, derailing at worst.
2a. But since we are talking about language history–where are you getting the form wermann from? It doesn’t occur in Bosworth-Toller, A Concise Anglo-Saxon Dictionary, or the University of Toronto’s online corpus. Wer meaning specifically “man” is well-attested in OE, it’s cognate to the Latin root vir (as in “virile”) but all the way back to Old English, mann is attested as having the double meaning of “human being” and “male” human being. Words for “woman” on the other hand, include fǽmne (clearly a Latin loanword, always used with the sense of “damsel, unmarried woman”) and wif (-mann), which, as with modern German Frau, meant both “wife” and “woman”. You’ve also, incidentally, got the OE roots of “he” and “she” wrong–they both descend from the Proto-Germanic demonstrative *hiz/hijo/hit, whereas seo in OED was a definite article.
2b. And even if I were to credit that, somehow, wermann was a valid form–language isn’t a closed system evolving with no relation to the society that uses it. Sociolinguistics 101: language both reflects and constructs the social systems of those who use it. So ask yourself: why is it that mann came to mean both “humans in general” and “male human specifically” while wifmann remained a specifically marked “female human”? Why did the word wif come to mean strictly wife but (wer)mann didn’t comes to mean specifically husband? (Wer could be used as “man/husband” but was last attested in 1300s, according to the OED. “Husband” comes from hus-bonda, “the master of the house,” which has an attested feminine form hus-bonde “the mistress of the house”–where did that word go, and why?) Why are the default words for woman, like wif and fǽmne, defined in terms of a woman’s relationship or lack thereof to a man, but words for men and boys don’t require us to indicate their marital status?
3. Now, back to the synchronic point the art piece was trying to make, and which has been made by our fellow linguists since at least 1973, when Robin Tolmach Lakoff published Language and a Woman’s Place: when the words we actually use in our daily life present a gendered form as the default, it naturally colors our thinking about gender. The words in the graphic may not be the best examples, granted, but they serve a thematic point, which is that our culture too often treats “male” as as a default setting for humans and any other gender as an exception.
4. As for the comment added by @mitosisyourtosis, men have been saying the same or worse about women for a long-ass time. I don’t necessarily agree with the point but I’m gonna defend the fuck out of her right to say it.
I don’t know where you took your undergrad ling class or from whom, but in my classroom we don’t make fun of people for being non-experts in the field. We make fun of prescriptivists who gatekeep language within narrow, arbitrarily defined borders, because those borders almost always exist to reinforce the power of people who already have too much of it.
As someone with 90+ hours of 400 level and above English credits, I am so glad for @madmaudlingoes ’ rebuttal. Reading @rhysiare ’s condescending little diatribe was making my head throb, and I really didn’t want to spend 45 minutes breaking out old textbooks to do it myself.