why do some straight ppl call their boyfriend or girlfriend their “partner” like. i just. u know u don’t have to do that right
it annoys me because i associate it with, like, both condescending Othering (straight people get wives and husbands and fiancées, we get “partners”) and as a euphemism (you know…..his /partner/). and now it’s a fun word for heteros to show how progressive they are when they have never had other people use it to imply that their relationships are inferior. it’s a total crock of shit
But… Don’t you also get husbands and wives?
a lot of the time same sex relationships are still seen as lesser than opposite sex relationships and just generally invalid so to use words like “husband” or “wife” would be ~ruining the sanctity of marriage~ in the eyes of many str8 ppl. that’s why they call our gfs/bfs/wives/husbands/fiancés our “”“partners”“” because to them it’s a different type of relationship and not one worthy of the same labels that they (str8 ppl) use. so like yeah it’s legal in some places for us to have husbands and wives but socially it’s not something everybody thinks we deserve to be able to say
Well this post is just riddled with cis hubris. Probably some biphobia as well.
Apparently no one here can wrap their minds around the idea of people wanting a term for a romantic attachment that isn’t gendered.
Or the idea that not everyone in a different sex relationship is straight and cis.
From a feminist standpoint, the terms husband and wife do not imply an equal partnership. The word husband derives from a term meaning “head of household.” The word wife derives from a term meaning “female.” The power dynamic, or should I say the power imbalance, is implicit in the language. “”“Traditional marriage”“” has historically been a business contract involving the sale of fertile women to property owning men.
There are valid reasons to reject the words “husband” and “wife” on both queer and feminist grounds.
You view the word “partner” as degrading because of the way traditionalist straight people have used it over the past 30 years?
Well I view the word “wife” as degrading because of the way it’s been used throughout ALL OF WESTERN HISTORY.
So maybe the people in this post can all take a moment to examine their own internalized heteronormativity and internalized heterosexism.
That last commentary is on point. I’m a bi woman in what might appear to be a straight relationship. Besides the fact that I prefer the term partner because I like the idea of normalizing terminology that doesn’t make assumptions about sexuality, it also gives me a way to not feel alienated from my own sexuality. It’s a way of reclaiming my identity. People don’t get to just assume I’m straight because I referred to my ‘boyfriend.’
But even for lesbian and gay people, the widespread use of ‘partner’ is great. I don’t know how many times people asked me, when I had a girlfriend, if I had a boyfriend. What they thought they were asking was if I was in a relationship, but my answer was usually just a simple no. But for people who want to make it clear, they always have to correct that question. “I have a girlfriend.” Which can get tiresome.
And, for the record, if my partner and I do get married, I will almost always surely refer to him as my spouse. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Partner fills a certain need. I’m okay with different terms that fill this need, there just aren’t a ton. Online, I’ve started to use ‘Bae,’ but that isn’t mainstream enough for me to use at work and have people know what I’m saying.
Thoughtfulfangirling 